Ask Ms Nel: What If My Girlfriend Is In Love With My Dad?

Imagine that your girlfriend is in love with your dad. Can you imagine anything worse? It sure is a horrible situation for a young guy to be in, but these types of crushes can be dealt with if you use the right combination of sensitivity and authority.

If your girlfriend is a teenager or in her early twenties, the chances of her having a crush on your father are higher than if she is in her mid twenties and older. Teenage guys tend to have dads who might still be physically attractive to a young girl, and they can become quite infatuated. Especially if your dad is good looking, an outdoors type of man, or one who is very up-to-date with all the stuff young people like. If your dad is into your type of music and movies, and can relate to the social networks you and your girlfriend use, then he is much more likely to produce a crush-inspiring effect on your girlfriend. On the other hand, if he is a total contrast to you, he may seem “intriguing” to your girl. In other words, there are certain types that young women are more prone to falling in love with, but in reality all types of older males are potentially interesting to your girlfriend.

You may be grossed out by the attention she pays to your old man, and especially the flirting she does with him. But don’t be too upset. It can be explained by psychology and hormonal reactions. If she were ever to be in a position of doing something about her infatuation, she would most probably run away in fright. In the vast majority of cases where young women profess to be in love with their boyfriends’ dads, it never gets beyond the stage of a crush.

If, however, you suspect your girlfriend is capable of acting in an inappropriate fashion with your dad, then the first person to discuss the matter with is your dad. Most fathers are aware of any flirting directed their way by their sons’ girlfriends, but you need to be sure. Make it clear to him that she is showing an interest that you find uncomfortable, to say the least. Tell your dad that the quickest way to nip the problem in the bud is for him to say something first. The best situation is where the three of you are present, but no-one else as this has the potential to really embarrass and upset your girl. Your dad should tell her that he has noticed her attention, and that he is not at all happy about it. If your father refuses to help you out because either he doesn’t feel the attention from your girlfriend is anything out of the ordinary, or because he just cannot do it, then it’s down to you.

You must tell your girlfriend that such behavior is not acceptable, and that if she refuses to let go of her infatuation you will have to release her from your life. If she loves you more than she loves your dad, then she will accept this ultimatum. If not, you have to move on.