Are you currently involved in a “friends with benefits” relationship? Was it fun at first but now you’re finding it harder and harder to keep the sex separate from your feelings of love? Are you driving yourself crazy because you are falling more and more in love but he doesn’t feel the same way? It can be very difficult for a woman to stay involved in a friends with benefits situation. But getting out, can be even harder.
The Problem With One-Night Stands
It all seemed like a great idea in the beginning. You were already friends with him and this was a way to have a casual relationship without the need to go out and try to meet someone. One night stands can be fun once in a while, but it can be a lot of work to always have to be on the look-out for a new guy. At least with this friends with benefits arrangement, you knew what you were getting.
In fact, it’s almost a near perfect thing until you begin to realize that you starting to feel an emotional attachment with your friend. This is the oh-oh moment because once that feeling kicks in, there is no going back to being just friends.
If the truth be told, it’s not uncommon for a woman to experience these feelings with a man she gets physical with on a regular basis. Because usually, having sex on a regular basis with the same man means that you are involved in some kind of a relationship with him. And that is exactly why the problem occurs. Now a guy can have sex with a woman without getting emotionally attached. For him it’s even better if he is friends with this woman. He doesn’t have to work at building a relationship because that’s not what this is all about.
So what should you do when you find yourself falling for your friend? Well, there are a couple of options, but chances are the outcome will be the same in either case.
You could and probably should tell him that things have changed for you. If you think that he may be sharing any of the same feelings that you are, you could talk to him about it and see if he’d like to try to develop a real relationship together. The chances of this happening may be slim, and if he turns you down, your friendship along with the benefits will come to an end. It wouldn’t work anymore anyway because if you’ve fallen for him, your friendship will not be the same as it was.
Option #2 – Break Free
Your other option, and one that may help you deal with your feelings more easily is to just break it off with him. You could even lie and tell him you’ve met someone else, so you’re not going to see him anymore. If you do this, follow through by letting his calls go to voice mail, not responding to texts and being distant if you do bump into him.
There is no point in tormenting yourself by maintaining contact with him. Not only is the friends with benefits part of the friendship over, but being friends with him at all would probably be too painful.
Want to know how to avoid getting into a friends-with-benefits situation, and instead open your life to better, stronger, more long-term relationships? Then I’d love to help you!
Evangeline Harris is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
