aging

The gay scene in Toronto Canada is probably like that of many other large cities in that it suffers from ageism. It seems to be the place for the youth with little room for men in their 40’s, 50’s and beyond. The trouble is that there appears to be a large contingent of men in that age group. There also seems to be less and less ways to connect with other gay men of the same age.

There are fewer bars and dance clubs for the gay man in general, and even fewer for the older gay man. But a lot of gay men don’t want to go to a bar anyway. So where and how do they connect?

For the sports oriented individual, at least in Toronto, there are gay leagues and teams for almost any sport from tennis to bowling. These are great – unless you are not a sports fan.

Tech savvy men have the use of dating websites and sex apps for smart phones. These websites and apps usually provide you with the opportunity to create a profile and include pictures of yourself in various states of undress. Some even indicate how close your potential partner is to you. Be careful how much information you give out and make sure you are not being scammed for money.

But websites and phone apps also seem to be a younger man’s market. Those in their 40’s and 50’s did not grow up with smart phones or the Internet for that matter – so this is all new to them.

New to them or not, the Internet holds a vast number of ways to meet up with other gay men. There are a huge number of meet up groups that cater to almost any interest a person might have. Search engines can help even the least Internet savvy gay man find those who share his interests. Just type in what you are interested in and add “gay” and you will probably find out there’s a group for that.

Another way to meet others is volunteering. Volunteering provides some altruistic value while opening the door to meeting other like-minded individuals. Find a cause that you can get behind – not just any old organization. It has to be something that you can stick with for a period of time. Most organizations want some sort of a time commitment.

There are ways of meeting like-minded individuals, you just have to know where to look. Old methods don’t work like they used to, so you might have to go about it in a different way. The Internet can be helpful, so if you don’t know how to use it, maybe it’s worth learning.

Dr. Scott Duggan is a Registered Clinical Psychologist located in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He has been practicing for over a decade and works with couples and individuals. Dr. Duggan completed his Ph.D. at the University of Toronto. He can be reached at 416-209-4036 or via email at dr.duggan@bell.net

You can find out more about Dr. Duggan by visiting his website at http://www.drduggan.ca