Women For Men Or Men For Women? – Who Has More Rules?

OK, here’s a test – who has more rules – women for men or men for women? If you guessed men for women you are WRONG. During my relationship research over the years (no this research wasn’t formal, had no benchmarks or was validated in any way – just gut reactions and experience) I believe that generally speaking (I’m using the word generally because I’m trying to avoid the wrath of any women out there and their need to email me their personal views on the subject) anyway, I believe that women have more rules for men than men do for women.

Whose rules are you living by yours or his or hers? Why do we even need rules for each other?

The assumption we make when another person has rules for us is that the way we do things is wrong or not acceptable to them for whatever reason. Come on. . . who put you in charge of me?

Yes if you want to avoid a lot of frustrations, conflict, arguments or spending time in – time-out – you will know your partner’s rules and obey them to the limit every time. But I ask you, isn’t life complicated enough without having to remember all of these often really stupid rules?

Do this… don’t do this…do it this way… don’t do it that way… say this… don’t ever say that… always act this way… never act that way… I’m getting tired just writing down the rules for the rules let alone trying to remember all of the rules themselves.

Contrary to popular opinion your way for me to live my life is not in your control nor is it your obligation to hold me accountable with various kinds of punishment when I break your rules.
If I had to guess over the years during my relationships there have been literally hundreds of rules. But wait, here’s the interesting part. One person’s rules were totally opposite the next person’s rules. Please, give me break. I’m just trying to get through life the best I can I don’t need to spend hours or even days trying to figure out how not to break your rules or even remember them.

Do you have a lot of rules for your partner? I’ll bet you have more than you realize. Some may be obvious. Some may be unconscious. Some may be sacred. Some may be really stupid. I’ll give you an example of a couple of contradictions.

One person wanted me to always tuck in my shirts when I dressed, even for casual activities. The next person wanted me to leave my shirts out. When do I get to do it the way I want to and when I do I don’t have to worry about offending you?

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 4000 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 70 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, SOLD, 81 Challenges Managers Face and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his websites at [http://www.timconnor.com] or [http://soldbook.com]