Do You Have a Sex Life After 50?

“Do you have a sex life?” This is a question no one wants to answer. To answer “yes” to him means to strip naked, and this is a terrible shame. Especially for a woman who she doesn’t always undress freely in front of her husband. To say no is to be considered a failure in front of the whole world.

Sometimes partners in marriage cheat. If suddenly one admits publicly that there is sex life outside of the union, and that life in all aspects is beautiful, they will contemplate a very unsightly picture of mutual accusations, insults and lies. The man will take all the money and property and will call his wife dirty words. And a woman, if the children are small, will not let them see her ex husband, and if they are grown, then she will curse herself, and she will turn the children against their father, and they will not shake hands with the “traitor” anymore.

Another reason why sex is not talked about is because there is none. This is also very embarrassing. Sexual life is saturated with guilt and sin. And a debt, of course. Once my mother almost came out, when, by the way, I noticed that she had sex quite regularly in both marriages. It seemed to me that this is obvious and normal. What’s the ending in sexual life is the end of the relationship in the “man-woman” paradigm. And that the refusal of sex by one of the partners should lead to the dissatisfaction of the other, and the marriage inevitably must or disintegrate, or transform into something else. Friendship, for example. This is not happening. A marriage remains a marriage, no matter what happens behind its veils, no matter what skeletons the closet was filled with. In our culture, you can’t even mention that you have sex. Although for the well-being of both in a couple, a mutually pleasant bodily relationship is much more important than all the external attributes of marriage and couples life. Patriarchal culture opposes not only stories in public space about the intimate details of pleasure, each other (it does not interest anyone at all), but also the mention of the very fact of the presence of these pleasures in life. It is not very clear how healthy, loving people can voluntarily do without sexual caresses. And other caresses, except sexual, between a man and a woman, do not happen.

In other words, many people often live without affection at all. Society shields those who are married. Since they are married, then they have everything a priori good with love and sex. And if they are in a long marriage, then no one should have any doubts at all. Frank conversations with people suggest otherwise. The fact is, divorced or an unmarried woman has more sex in life than a married one. But it is also more decent to keep silent about this. Almost all married men “walk to the left” or have parallel connections. Married ladies ask unmarried people a little haughtily: “Well, why are you alone then, since you are so happy?” Happy married woman is a category too foggy, and no one is going to dispel the fog. No matter how you look at it, the conversation about sex doesn’t go well, that’s all. And since there is no topic, then the solution to the most important of the most important issues of humanity cannot be found. If there is no word, there is no feeling, and there is no way to satisfy the need if it is not voiced. Sexuality as part of human identity, lived only personally. Someone else’s example or theory does not help, and no statistics. Each love story, sensually everyone has its own, but if you say it, then we will find a lot in common with those who grew up in religious reality. Everyone’s personal experience highlights the big picture.

The duration of sex, the duration of sexual relations, their frequency and quality are individual for each person and known for certain only to them. The experienced frustration in the sexual sphere usually has no one to discuss it with, and there are two reasons: either this frustration and sensual confusion are very different from external social image (for example, the husband is handsome, rich and powerful), or any revelation on the topic will hurt our partner’s feelings about past or present pleasures, or displeasure, and we are afraid to hurt him. At the same time, it rarely occurs to us, and we are not taught that we are responsible for our feelings ourselves, and only we can improve our life so that our sensory sphere and our social position and external image will cease to contradict each other and bring us to a state of internal discord and disease.

Women rarely come to mind between feigned orgasm, suppressed living feelings and the withering of one’s own sexuality. Search for logic in the sensuality is only a waste of time. Overcoming the reality of sexual relations that have developed over the years in a couples is almost unrealistic. Finding a compromise between your bodily desires and moral norms is also not easy. Reality and our ideas about partnership sometimes diverge sharply in different directions. Many rashly close this topic by default. Society gave his answers long ago. Clutch everything in a fist, go “left” or to prostitutes. This is for men. For women, it is written in general, as if by notes: endure, be silent, be faithful, give birth, lead economy. And remember about age! So as not to amuse the people with the love affairs of the “old woman”. And we will. The magic number 50, the latest women’s crisis is a lucky opportunity to sweep away all cards and representations and decisively take the path of personal female happiness.

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