Modern-day etiquette suggests that a second wedding is just as much of a special event as the first
While 90 percent of people in America marry, 40 to 50 percent of couples divorce, according to the American Psychological Association. Yet, many divorcees remarry. Do the same rules apply for the second wedding as for the first?
The opinion expressed at marthastewartweddings.com is: “Modern-day etiquette suggests that a second wedding is just as much of a special event as the first.” The site’s second marriage etiquette tips include:
‒ Pick and choose any or all traditions of a first wedding, (i.e. host a wedding shower, wear white, find something blue and something borrowed, etc.).
‒ Involve children if the marriage will result in a blended family.
‒ Make sure children, family and – depending on status of relationship – former spouses know about upcoming wedding plans before printing and mailing invitations.
Bridal Guide magazine adds:
‒ Consider choosing a different theme, dress, etc. For instance, if the first wedding was in a church with a traditional reception, think about an intimate destination wedding.
‒ Select a dress to enhance individual beauty and style “rather than pleasing someone else.”
Theknot.com warns couples planning a second wedding not to assume:
‒ Parents will pick up the tab.
‒ All religions/denominations will embrace a second marriage (“For example, the Roman Catholic Church doesn’t recognize divorce, so you would have to exchange vows at the reception site or another nondenominational location”).
‒ Friends and family will want to give gifts.
An important consideration, cautions theknot.com, is an invitation to a former spouse and/or spouse’s family. No matter how cordial and well maintained the relationships, issues may arise: “Though you may still be on good terms, other guests may feel uncomfortable — especially your new spouse’s family … The focus should be on looking forward, not backward!”
